


Mortality

by TiamatZX



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Missing Scene, Past Character Death, spoilers through episode 97
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 12:23:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10921752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiamatZX/pseuds/TiamatZX
Summary: It’s funny how one’s views on life and death can change, especially after seeing everyone die around you and still come back.Especially when you end up experiencing death yourself.Set during Episode 97, “Taryon, My Wayward Son”.





	Mortality

**Author's Note:**

> At present, this is the first draft. So there may be updates to this as I go.
> 
> Still, please let me know what you think of it in the comments.

It’s funny how one’s views on life and death can change, especially after seeing everyone die around you and still come back.

Especially when you end up experiencing death yourself.

The sun was setting over the high peaks of the Alabaster Sierras as Vox Machina started to set up camp for the evening, still half a day away from Whitestone. The day had been rather hectic for so many reasons, mostly due to the Trickfoots being no more than petty con artists and not at all appreciative of the one who found a different path from them. They were taken advantage of and while the gnomes did win in the end, being given all of Pike’s gold, they still lost the cleric’s respect and were given the threat of death should they cross paths with her again. They didn’t even flinch as they left, not even resisting the idea of J.B. staying behind.

But the worst of it all happened soon after, with such a reckless attempt at being helpful resulting in a very fatal mistake.

As most of Vox Machina cleared the site, one of them refused to help. Keyleth huddled against a tree far away from everyone else, still shaken over the course of the past several hours. It was such a stupid move on her part, thinking that she could easily survive a fall that high. She grew complacent and overconfident, not unlike the others before death had claimed them briefly as well. But more than anything, she was extremely stressed and weighed down over the course of the past year and the lingering trauma of the events after the Chroma Conclave. She yearned to just cut loose and have fun, to finally blow off some pent-up steam after the bullshit she had gone through over that course of time. She still couldn't believe that out of everyone in the original group, she was the last of them to experience death. And it wasn’t due to being in battle or due to old age. It was due to her being very fucking reckless. She was the headmaster of her people, for Melora’s sake. She had to keep on living so that she could grow as a leader, to guide her people to further prosperity. Yet ever since becoming the Voice of the Tempest, she had continued to make stupid and careless decisions, such as back in the Nine Hells where she almost died and her death would’ve left the others stranded. Just recalling the look on Vex’s face in that moment when she woke up, and then those of most of the group, broke her heart.

For her, it was practically instantaneous because she didn’t even feel the impact, much less the excruciating pain that no doubt followed. She was surrounded by blackness for the briefest of moments, and she felt so tired and scared. She truly believed that she had it coming, that it was a rather fitting punishment for someone like her, because of all the things to kill her, it could only be her own hubris. And the next thing she knew, she heard the very familiar cries of Vex’ahlia and felt a surge of power through her body as she opened her eyes to see the ranger hovering over her, nonstop tears falling down her face. And it was only then that she could feel how much pain she was in. Her body was extremely sore all over and surrounded by blood all over the rocks. And it was  _ **her**_ blood, a thought that made her feel really queasy. She was amazed that other than the bloodbath around her and her sore body, there were no other signs of her attempt at tempting fate.

Attempting to focus her muddled thoughts together, Keyleth tried to apologize for such an impulsive and foolish action, that she really felt bad for scaring Vex that much. But Vex in her usual cool way brushed it off and voiced how glad she was that she brought her back from the darkness. It was a rather touching sentiment, but as much as Keyleth idolized Vex’ahlia, she still couldn’t help but feel as if the ranger didn’t truly understand what it felt like for her despite having experienced death twice before. Regardless, after many moments of conversation, and Vax struggling with the reality of what had happened to her, they all proceeded to hike down the mountain.

Keyleth continued to curl herself up tightly, rocking herself back and forth against the tree. This was something entirely new. She had never truly understood what it felt like to die until now. And it was every bit as terrifying as the others made it out to be. Such thoughts reminded her of her own fear of death and losing those close to her. Such a fear was what kept her from falling in love with Vax for the longest time. It wasn't until she was encouraged to be brave and enjoy life while she could that she began to push that fear aside. She knew that she could never truly get over her fear, but it was much more manageable until lately.

It was then that she realized how prophetic she was when she and Vax talked after Vex's first death.

_**"You do realize that if by some crazy chance, and we all somehow make it through this... domination alive with the Chroma Conclave, and I complete my Aramenté, I’ll still watch all of you die. Everything could go phenomenally well, and by becoming headmaster we enter a bit of a realm of mortality where I could live for a very very long time. I’m afraid... every time I look at one of your faces that it’s gonna be the last... and I feel like deep down I know that day is coming."** _

She had no idea how correct she would become, as she had indeed seen everyone in Vox Machina that she had traveled with for all that time end up dead at least once. Pike against Jurazel. Grog against K'Varn and Craven Edge. Vex'ahlia in Purvan's tomb and against Raishan. Tiberius against Vorugal. Percival against Ripley, Orthax, and Raishan. Scanlan against Raishan. But the worst of them all, of course, was seeing Vax'ildan die against the kraken, his life having been given for the sake of her Aramenté. She recalled how desperate she was to get him away and back to Vesrah, how desperate she was to bring Pike to them, and how desperate she was in pleading for his return.

And just now, she end up dying as well.

_Why am I even still here at this point? Considering all the choices I’ve made in my life, I shouldn’t even be here now. It just goes to show that I’m truly not fit for leading, much less an adventuring life..._

“Kiki? Where are you?”

Keyleth jumped at the sound of a familiar voice coming from behind her. She looked over her shoulder from her position behind the tree, and in the faint moonlight she could just barely make out an equally familiar silhouette of a male individual with long dark hair.

“Vax...” Keyleth said after a moment, her voice still soft and weak from the trauma of her revival. Vax’ildan then turned towards the sound of her voice and eventually found her as he walked towards her. He then sat down right next to her, and Keyleth could see the weariness all over his face.

She had no doubt that he was battling all sorts of emotional turmoil within his heart. After all, someone very dear to him had died again, and once again he was unaware and thus unable to stop it. Keyleth recalled that often at night when they slumbered, she could hear Vax muttering in his sleep, frantic and panicked. The sort of muttering one has regarding nightmares. Keyleth knew all too well as she was prone to having them. Even during the nights they spent together in Zephra, the nightmares never truly ceased and they kept her awake at night. Nightmares of Whitestone and the Ziggurat below. Nightmares of the Chroma Conclave and the destruction they unleashed. And even nightmares of the events that happened after all was said and done, regarding the kraken and the Nine Hells. It was all one endless ordeal for her.

Keyleth turned her gaze to meet Vax's eyes.

“Vax, I’m so sorry. That was so—”

But she didn’t even get to finish her sentence as Vax suddenly embraced her, and she could hear him sobbing. She froze, unable to will herself to hug him back.

“Is this real? You’re really here, right?” Vax asked her, his voice cracking amidst the tears.

Keyleth then started to cry again herself and then softly replied, “Yeah... I’m really here. I’m surprised I am still here. I’m really sorry, Vax. That was so very foolish.”

“Don’t do that again, gods dammit... Please don’t do that again,” Vax told her, sobbing all the while. “I can’t bear to lose you. Besides, being reckless is **_my_** job.”

Despite the sadness, Keyleth couldn’t help but chuckle weakly. “I know. We are so very much alike, it’s rather funny. A couple of idiots who charge into danger, not realizing or understanding the consequences of our actions.”

Vax was quiet for a while before replying, “We sure are.”

They remained still for another few moments as Keyleth finally found the strength to hug him back. She was still very much surprised. She was here. Vax was here. They were both swallowed by darkness and pulled back into the light. Birds of a feather, they were. The past year that they got to spend together was one of the most rewarding experiences she ever had in her life. For the first time since her mother was said to have not returned, she truly felt happy being home. Diplomatic work kept her busy a lot, but she still found every opportunity she could to be with the man she loved.

“I heard you,” Vax said suddenly.

“Huh?”

“When I was dead. I heard you,” he clarified. “For a moment, I was seriously considering just letting go, content that I was able to help you complete your Aramenté. But then you reminded me of the promise we made, to settle down together in Zephra. You reminded me of how much I loved you. And it was then that I realized that I couldn’t just leave you behind, not when I gave my word.”

Keyleth nodded, still holding him tight. “Thank you... for coming back. And... I’m glad I’m back, too.”

“Will you be all right going forward?” Vax asked her.

Keyleth thought for a moment, and then said, “I think so. I just... need to process what happened. I’ll be okay, though. No more thousand foot cliff diving for me.”

The last part she had said with a laugh. Vax couldn’t help but chuckle. “I can’t believe I fell in love with a woman like you. But I would never take it back.”

“Same,” Keyleth replied. “There’s so much left for us to do as well. I... do hope we get to have as much time as possible together. And even when you die and I’m still here, as long as I’m happy having gotten to be with you for as long as I could, that’s enough to get me through.”

She then pulled back and gave Vax a kiss. And when she pulled away, she said, “I love you so much. And I’m sorry for worrying you. I promise you that I’ll be more careful.”

Vax nodded. “I’ll hold you to that, headmaster. Otherwise, Korren will have my head.”

Keyleth nodded back. “Now then, I suppose we should head to camp, right?”

The two half-elves stood up off the ground and then, while holding hands, they headed back to camp. It was a very hectic day, and they needed to rest desperately. Tomorrow, they would be back in Whitestone and managing the Slayer’s Cake. Things would go a little easier for now. There was still the issue of not knowing when the Raven Queen would cash in on Vex’s bargain, but for now, it was peaceful.

It was a peace worth living for.

**Author's Note:**

> Suffice to say, Episode 97 was a mix of emotions for me, especially that fatal dive. I pretty much went through the five stages of grief instantly, and it still persisted long after the episode ended. While it was funny, I can’t help but think about how she may be feeling now that she’s experienced death just like the rest of Vox Machina, thus the inspiration for a fic like this.


End file.
